Churchill's Humor

Today, I want to honor the statesman whose crisis leadership was perhaps the greatest of the 20th Century, and at the same time he possessed a razor whit equally as great.  Here are some of his gems, the first, as told to me, and the rest sourced from The Wit and Wisdom of Winston Churchill:

A young Winston, already known to be a strong supporter of alcohol, said to a lady,

"Madam, you are UGLY!"

"Oh, Winston," she replied, "You've been tippling again; you're quite drunk."

"Indeed, I am, Madam.  However, tomorrow, I will be SOBER!"
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Churchill attended a reception and sat next to a stiff necked bishop.
A young waitress appeared with a tray of sherry glasses.  She offered one to Churchill, which he took, and then one to the bishop.  The bishop was horrified at the alcoholic offer.  He said,

"Young lady, I would rather commit adultery than take an intoxicating beverage."

Then Churchill called the girl, "Come back, lassie, I didn't know we had a choice."
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"An appeaser is one who feeds the crocodile hoping it will eat him last."
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"Eating my words has never given me indigestion."
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"Some men change their party for the sake of their principles; others change their principles for the sake of their party."
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"It would be a great reform in politics if wisdom could be made to spread as easily as folly."
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The last couple are probably more serious than funny, sadly.